FIRMAMENT
Posted on | June 23, 2009 | No Comments
i was real happy with this. new poem!
another waste of time that i vomit into the sink with trembling hands clutching toothbrush! i’ve pretty much accepted the fact now that nothing is ever going to come out of anything artistic I do, so now I’m pretty much being an artist out of spite. the real world is never going to get any contributions from me. if I can drain it just a little bit, maybe the next generation of artists can have it even a little bit easier. I wish I was Iranian, cause I’d like to be heaving rocks at religious idiots. blah.
this appeared, in a slightly different form, in AMUZE #1
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FIRMAMENT
Last nights in apartments
or in cities or in lovers are precious by design.
Never had a smaller bag to pack
Never had move out day where the ceiling looked so cracked
Last handshakes with landlords
Are always awkward; you hope he doesn’t notice this box
or these hangers
or that busted pipe or cracks in windows
busted mailboxes,
burns in the carpet
Chinks in the wall…
However furnature gets in is its own business,
and it ain’t telling. I’ve tried.
Face down on the couch, teeth in wool screaming
fuzzy tears, white squares
curtain tears, peeling paint and bent iron gates
that make chessboard shadows on the floor.
As someone screams from the alley way there is the sound
of something falling that you wish you hadn’t heard
so you fall asleep hoping you won’t remember it in the morning.
You wake up to that strange light of the sun behind a building:
shade on top of shade but covered in day;
gum wrappers and water bottles, clumps of dust and old used matches
are like tea leaves in the grainy porcelien of your apartment–
gathered on the bottom you look up to see
who’s drinking
whose mouth is dry
who’s sick this time
+
Roll out of bed
Rub my eyes and listen to that anthem again.
Check the fire escape for snow
and the sky for fame.
The clouds are the house curtain still drawn
guess there will be no show today.
The sleepers that pass through the square won’t notice;
They are busy with their colds and their tickets
their wallets are late again, and when the buildings
seem like they want to fall down around everyone they say,
Wait till I hit the corner, and turn–
If you want to take a world you’ll need me not
face to face with the abyss
Well shit, if only I’d gone to college to study this…
Im gonna walk the bridge-
They’re filming the greatest movie of all time
at the parking lot at the base of the palisades.
I walked this same bridge in 78 and 87
but I couldn’t see the cameras from the span.
I knew I would die in that motel some day
Me and daniel johnston wandering around in the rain in new jersey
Underneath the neon we read our playing cards and go fish tarot
Then it blinks and we miss every other one.
They’re going to throw us away unless we get Big
+
The water tanks are roofs on top of roofs
They warn against the sunshine
The clouds come in from the west with their smell
Planes are landing in the hudson
We are standing on wings as west new york
and docks and townhouses and hotels
and intrepid tourists and overpass fence wranglers
and certain lonely folk taking a walk because they are bored look on
I had certainly never been down here before.
I dropped a few quarters in the clink and watched the lenses whirr
They brought me an eagle they brought me barnacles and water
eighteen wheelers getting the fuck out of jersey
sportcars so shiny you can’t see the color or the sun
and as soon as I was done I went home
Because I wasn’t in the mood to just sit nor play
Everything was broken in its own special way
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